Affair with a married man for 9 months.... I need some advice on how he's acting?

Ok- i need some advice. I have been dating a married man for about 9 months now. everything has been so much fun, we talk every day and have a great time together- and yes, we fight... more so lately. Let me start off by saying that his wife cheated on him first (whih i KNOW doesn't make it right, i'm just saying-and he HAS cheated before bc he's known about her infidelity for about 7 years now) and has a kid. Now in all honesty-at this point, i don't even think i would want him to leave his sitaution, bc well if he did it to her, he'd prob do it to me too and it's just too much drama and baggage for me. And i AM dating other guys- he's not the only one, but unfortunately, he's become like the main guy in my life probably because i talk to him constantly. He tells me he loves me, is in love with me blah blah and i won't lie- i love him too. But now this is the problem- for the past few weeks, we've pretty muh done nothing but fight... we haven't seen each other for two weeks (he's very busy with work) and we've just been fighting. So we had plans to get together one night and he canceled, not really giving me a reason. So we talked that night- he was telling me how much he misses me, but then also saying things like your such a great girl and you deserve better and even asked if i really wanted to be with him and all his baggage... he also said that so much was going on as far as home, work and me- like that everything is all messed up and he can't deal anymore-it's all too much stress. He also keeps saying things like we both want more with each other and it's killing us and we were getting so jealous over nothing, we started fighting so much....but then when i ask what he wants to do as far as us- he said, idk-i do miss you. and of about the 7 different times ive said to him "if you don't want me in your life or don't want to be with me, just tell me!" every time he's said- no- thats so not what i'm saying or no, thats not how it is-that he's just stressed. So i thought everything was going to be fine and things would go back to normal (just having fun together and talking like we had for the past 9 months) so the next day, i didn't hear from him at all-he never does this... and he knows how annoyed i get when he dos this....the next day was the same until i texted him to say i had sent him an email (you know those dear john letters that you write where you say everything you've always wanted to say, but never intend on sending? i sent mine- i couldn't hold my feeings in any longer) so then we talked a little bit that night and the next day- where he again told me how great of a person i am and how i deserve so much more and how he feels like he's not a good person and that mayne i shouldn't miss him...i basically need to know what the h*ll is going on with us and why he's all of a sudde acting like this... so we've decided to meet up in a few days... now i didn't hear from him the rest of the night...should i expect to hear from him at all until we get together? i mean what could have possibly happened to make him act completely different and like not want to talk to me at all for days? I'm just SO lost on this and really need someones insight... in the letter i sent him too i pretty much said to him that i couldn't do this anymore and i deserve better- so i kind of guess i ended things, but i told him after i sent him that that i didn't want him out of my life... and i don't... i care so much about him and it would be like losing a friend. It really hurts and i don't know what to do at this point... yes, we're getting together in a few days (which wil be the first time in 3weeks) but him not texting me at all during the day makes me think that he just doesn't acre about me anymore or just wants me out of his life... it's killing me and hurting so bad, but i kow i shouldn't text him bc i don't want to be needy-especially if he's stressed- the last thing he wants to do is argue with me back and forth... and besides the obvious answer (which i know, but can't seem to do yet without knowing whats going on) of leaving him and forgetiing abou him- what should i do?? Should i try to contact him or just wait it out and see?